Empty future

So I woke up today feeling so blurry
Feeling like I have no future
Feeling like I have let opportunities pass me by
Feeling blind, though I have eyes
Feeling like I cant speak,
Though I have a mouth.

I woke up today,
Feeling dead,
Though I’m alive,
Where is my future, I ask myself
Where is my destiny?
Where are my goals?

I feel like I have lost the battle,
The battle I never started
I feel like I have failed a test,
A test I never began,
I feel like I have lost the race,
A race I never ran.

Where is my future, I ask myself?
I hear the birds singing,
The sun shinning,
It’s a new day,
Yet it feels like yesterday
Yet it feels like a day I have already lived
There is nothing new in this day for me,
Because I feel empty
There is nothing new in this day for me,
Because I cant see beyond the birds,
I cant see beyond the sun,
I cant see my future.

Days pass me by,
Yet I am still the same
Where are my goals?
Where are my aspirations?
Where is my destiny?

Though I feel empty,
My heart feels heavy.

I feel I can see the road to success,
I can see the path to prosperity,
Yet I’m hanging for dear life on the crooked road,
Yet I’m walking on the pavements to an average life,
Yet I’m speeding down the lane to…. nothing
Where is my future?

I see something,
Something great,
Its like your in a desert,
When you have the illusion of water on the ground,
As you move closer to it, the water goes farther away.
That’s how I feel,
That’s how my future is to me.
Is my future an illusion?
Do I have a future?
I’m I living my life as a waste of time?
I’m I living the way I should?

I see greatness,
So close…but so far away
Though it feels like I can reach it,
It runs far away from me.
I see the foot steps to greatness
Yet, it is so hard for me to follow it step by step.

Should I just leave it at ‘everything’s gonna be alright’
Shall I take risks?
Shall I play it safe?
Where is life taking me?
If I work very hard, will it all be in vain?
Will I be happy with my future
What will I end up to be?
Sigh! I think the real question is, what do I want to be?
Lord, where is my future?

I woke up this morning feeling empty,
Yet I do not know how to be normal again.

Toluwa Oyeleye

when will there be a new Nigeria?

When will there be a new Nigeria?
We call for a change..
We call for a revolution
The government has failed us
The police has failed us
Where is the water..
Where are the jobs
Where is the electricity..
Nigeria has the potential…the potential to be a great nation..
The protests in Nigeria  now goes beyond fuel subsidy.
Enough is enough
It is time Nigerians spoke out
It is time Nigerians awakened…
They are tired of the neglect..
They are tired of the injustice..
They are tired of the corruption..
They are tired of the insecurity..
When will there be a new Nigeria..
For years...they have listened to the government fail them
For years…they have sat back and watched the corrupt government
For years…they have been in a box...scared…frail and unhappy.
But now is the time for them to speak..
Nigeria listen to the tears of your people..

The sickness..
The pain…
The suffering..
The injustice..
The insecurities..
The rape..
The corruption..
The lack of jobs..
The lack of food..
The lack of electricity..
The lack of education..
The lack of health care..
The lack of good homes..
The lack of sanitation..
The lack of good leaders…
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH..

..people are sleeping on the streets..
People are being killed like animals without any consequences for the killers..
People are being scared to walk at night..
People are beggin’ on the streets
People are tired of being frustrated..
People are tired of talking and the government not listening..
People are tired of driving on bad roads..
People are tired of having their children die before the age of 5 due to preventable diseases..
People are tired of being tired..

When will there be a bright future for Nigeria..
When will there be a new Nigeria..

Nigeria my nation…
When will you listen..
They have no way else to go..
They have no where else to run..
Nigeria my nation…
Where is the future..
When there is no food..
No good roads..
No clean water for the masses..
The inequality is rife..
The suffering is continuous..
Nigeria where is the future..

It is time for you to move ..NIGERIA
There needs to be a change in history..
And if it doesn’t…then this will be the beginning of an endless war.

It is time to end the corruption..
Where has all the money gone ..
The extra earning from crude oil???
Where has it gone..
And then you removed fuel subsidy..
Hence, Doubling the price..
People were struggling from their bones to pay for commodities..
Now that the price for such has doubled how do you want them to survive..
How?

All they want is a united nation….
A nation where we have strong and wise leaders..
A nation that can provide for its citizens..
A nation that is not just democratic by name but also by nature..
A nation that will provide for its individuals
A nation that is not corrupt
A nation where citizens can live freely without the fear of…
Armed robbers..
Rape..
Hooligans…
Or preventable death..
A nation that doesn’t support injustice..
A nation that listens to the cries of its people..
A nation where they don’t have to worry about food..
A nation where they don’t have to worry about health care..
A nation where they don’t have to worry about living their own destiny..
But is that too much to ask??
When will there be a new Nigeria?

Toluwa Oyeleye
                                                                              14-January-2012

19 and growing.

When I reflect back on the past year…
There is nothing more to say than thank you lord…
All the struggles…
All the challenges…
All the happy days…
The success
The personal achievements..
Lord I thank you..

This new year ahead of me..
Is going to be twice as  better
Even Though I think for the first time ever..
I have no  new year resolutions..
…I know that..
I need to grab every opportunity that comes my way..
Failure really isn’t an option..
I need to be more motivated. Determined and focused
I need to organise and plan my life more than I have done before..
Laziness is a no no..

As I have turned 19..
Though as stupid as it sounds. I realise I’m not getting any younger…
I need to make my future..
For the future isn’t going to make itself..
I believe I have a destiny in life..
And I will fulfil my destiny with God with me on every step I take..

This new year…
There will be more challenges..
There will be more heartaches..
There will be more negativity around me.
There will be those who will do nothing but envy..
They will be those who will set out to break me..
But in the end…
I shall overcome..
Because I strongly believe..
You can do anything…if you put your mind to it

This year I ask..
That God takes out the people I don’t need in my life..
Lead me away from the Judas’s and direct me to the likes of ‘John the Baptist‘..

It will be a rough, challenging and demanding year..
But I will ALWAYS come out on top..
Because I am a child of the most high.
DEUCES 2011.…HELLO 2012.

31/12/2011

2012

You only get one life..
So just let it go…
All the hatred.
All The anger..
All The resentment…
let it go…

Live, love, be happy
Life is too short…
To keep resentments in your heart…
To live life hating people…
To procrastinate..
Or to not live your dream fully because of others and what not…
Do what you truly want to do…
Live your destiny.

You are on earth for a reason…
And even if everything does not always go as planned…
Remember, smile…because God has a reason for everything.

Your time will surely come…there is a time for everything
And life...it’s a learning curve
Now as you are young...is the time to make mistakes…
It’s the time to enter pitfalls…
It’s the time to fall in love over and over again…
…and hopefully…
you will then build on your past..
On your mistakes…and be a better person

You are the writer of your own life..
Take away every negativity around you..
…you only get to write your story once..
So how will the story go…

One small step makes a great journey…
Never give up…
In life...you have to keep on fighting..
Not giving up to fear or difficulty..
Keep giving it your all..
If you’ve started already…why stop now.
Never be afraid to show who you really are..
Because you are a star! In your own way…

Smile...be happy

This new year…remember…
You only live once…you only have one story..
The story began…when you entered this earth…
But how will the story end…

1/1/2012

THE REASON FOR THE SEASON

Who I’m I oh lord…that you see me and take care of me
Who I’m I oh lord…to deserve your great mercy…
Who I’m I…to deserve your love

For you have given me food, I rejected it and went for the grains of animals
You gave me water, I rejected  it and fed the water to the pigs
You clothed me and put me on a soft warm bed...yet  I rejected it, put on rags and slept on the floor

YET..you still show me unconditional love..
You never leave me or give up on me
You never fail me or abandon me
When there is no one else to count on…I can always count on you

Who im I oh lord that you should think of me and care for me?
But you have shown me love, compassion and mercy.
You have given me favour…in all that I do.

Lord I love you because you first loved me
You are my saviour, my father and my friend.
You are a specialist at bringing out something out of nothing

Who is like you oh lord..
The I am that I am..
The God of Moses, Isaac and Abraham..
There is none like you
you are worthy to be praised..

Thank you for coming into this world…
To save me and forgive me of all my sins..

Even though I am not worthy to be called your child..
You still call me your daughter.

“Jesus whispers I am with you…in the deepest hour of the deepest need; when the way is dark and lonesome, I am with you, ill lead” - Morris

Happy birthday Jesus. I love you so much

Hole

There’s a dark hole
A hole I cant understand
A hole that has grown inside of me
It wasn’t a part of me
But now its becoming more of me
I cant stop it
But I know its there
Its hard to let go
It hard to deny it
But I know its there
I feel t o r n
I feel happy
I feel sad
I feel strong
I feel weak
...destabilized
...sick
I don’t know where these feelings are coming from
But I know there is a hole
A hole that is not from me
But has suddenly become a part of me